Category: the Rant Board
Let me first say I'm not looking for pitty, just someone who can relate.
Life for me, as of late, has been pretty tough.
Well for the last eight years, it's been hell. My father, brother, aunt and uncle have all passed away, and I'm trying to deal with it, and addiction runs rampant within my family.
I've got a mom who doesn't care, and am trying to put myself through school, but sometimes it gets pretty difficult.
I've got a wonderful boy friend who does what he can, but..... i don't know.
Well, I've ranted on enough, and I'll probably catch hell for it. Also, I'll probably get some who might call me an attention seaking whore, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. Some might also critisize me for posting, but I'm not really worried.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read this.
You walk outdoors with a smile on your face
And tell everyone that everything is okay.
Is that how you go on with your day?
I’m telling you, that’s not the way.
Listen to me I did the same.
I know what it’s like to be in pain.
Please read this in and in exchange
you’ll hear about my life going insane.
Growing up without a father is no walk in the park
or crying for your mother after dark.
I was born in the world with little sight.
There were some days when I thought that there will never be light.
Through all my trials and tribulations,
doubt and frustrations, peace and problems,
joy, sorrow and broken dreams.
Through all my fears, I’m still here.
I’m not trying to wine or complain
or not trying to find anyone to blame.
I’m just trying to explain to you
that you have to go through to get through.
Sometimes it catches your love one’s eyes.
They know that there is pain inside.
Don’t pick up the mask and start to hide.
Because you try to keep your pride.
Remember
Trouble don’t last always.
And there will be brighter days
My prayers for you will never fade
and continue to run this daring race.
thanks
don't even worry about it. you're not an attention seeker, you are just doing what you need to do. trust me, you'll get through. you have those who love you, and the fact that you try so hard is all u need to do. We're here for you!
Hi soul temptrous, I can very well relate with how you feel. My father died when I was just 24, then a year later my best friend died. Then a few years after that my grandma and grandpa died within a few months from each other. Then four years ago my mother died, a year later my dog (which I loved as my own child and had him since he was 4 weeks old). Just a few months ago my other grandma died. My only close relative left is my younger brother. This brother has done everythimng to make my life hell, including stealing alot of money from me. Two years ago, I became very sick and had to have open heart surgery. This surgery devastated my body. Because of the vein they had to take out of my leg to create 3 bypasses for my heart, they ruined my left leg. From the knee down it got infected and ever since I have no feeling on it except constant pain. Due to diabetes, I am developing peripheral neuropathy which means that I have less and less feeling in my other foot and leg and both hands. To add to all that, my boyfriend, the one I took care for 5 years, through his illness and surgery, never lifted a finger to help me, never even offered emotional support but withdrew in his safe corner cause he could not deal with what was happening to me. I went through a nervous breakdown. He became more and more distant. Finally, he found another girlfriend and dropped me like a hot potato claiming he was scared of me because I would get mad at him and shout at him during my nervous breakdown. I had no one to turn to, no one to ask for help as I was in the USA and all my friends were in Europe. I moved to the US to be with that boyfriend and his family did all they could to break us up. I was alone in a den of hugry wolves. I don't fool myself. There are people who have problems, and there are people who are daily confronted with devastation. I am one of those. I know that my life will never be easy not for a month, not for a week or even a day. In the last couple weeks I have been painting my apartment and today we had a huge storm that caused the apartment to flood. There was water coming down from the roof along the new painted walls. I spent my morning filing buckets of water together with my neighbor. I am ready to scream as I spend lots of money and many hour of work to paint the whole apartment. This is my life and I know it will never get easier. NEVER. My choice is to either live it or end it all with a handfull of sleeping pills. The option is daily in my mind. I live at the verge of death. My curiocity is the only thing that keeps me going: what will life throw at me next? what horror will I have to deal with tomorrow? It's like watching one of those horror movies that you know you don't want to watch but you can't keep your eyes away from the screen. That is my life. That is why I can relate with what you go through. Don't give up but know that it does NOT get easier. Star
ah Star, all I can say is "wow"! you are right. it does seem that some people have it all don't they? You're so strong, and that is to be admired!
I know we spoke a bit a while ago but feel free to find me if you ever want to talk.
and same to you soul temptrous. Stay strong and whoever thinks you're
*hugs to you both*attention seeking isn't worth it, so don't worry! Most people on the zone are just lovely people who would go out of their way to help where-ever possible!
ah, sorry that kinda didn't make sense, but I gather you know what I mean?! Lol
hey rdfreak thanks for your warm and heartfelt words. I appreciate it and I also hope that soul temptrous will find some comfort too in your words. Hugs, Star
hi star,
if you ever need to talk or just need someone to have listen to your probs just let me know ,and i can do that for you .
it is me tony cubs fan,and i'm here if yu need me to be.
my messenger address is the same as before
Hi, I suffer t with severe depression, today i went back to college but the transport didn't come until after ten because somebody forgot to po put my name on the list for the transport. Anyway I prepared myself for the worst and that helped me to cope better. Now I am tired because I have been up since six o'clock gmt now it is 9.20 pm.
Well I also have depresson problems. But I try to just get through everythin the bes I can.